My turn!!

well, it's been a really looong time doesn't post anything here. i'd love to write recently and fold it to a ship. just like Kugy (main character of Perahu Kertas) did. it's such sweet thing to do. and i feel feminine, for sure.

start with... i'm in the last year of senior high school right now AAAAA but yeah. try to pick one of those state university. this is the hardest, not only to choose but to get in there. this is surely determine my future. what kind of job i'll get. will be face national exam soon, too. before these big things come all assignments come coincide, and make me crazy as this goes.

to be honest,  i don't know what's my good at. so, i'll try to do everything sincerely. make myself happy with all those pains happen at school. you know, unstable period in reaching 17.

start today, i wanna be mature without changing who i really am inside. i wanna try the hardest so i'm not gonna regret everything i'll get soon.

this changing be kinda practicing for me. practicing the new life i'll get soon. being far from my parents, my beloved friends, my boyfriend and doing everything by myself. find new friends, try anything new. sounds fun, but will be hard to do, too. i feel it. only 3 months to go or less.

i have to move, if i want to get success. have to face pain first and fall down tears to reach happy. have to outing sweat before could smiles happily. this is rules in the hard world.

facial expressions

can you expressing your feeling? are you have porcelain face? are you one of the sufferer of Mobius Syndrome? I have been learned about this at my English course. maybe, you were confuse, we were learned about facial expressions, literally.

We watched the sufferer of Mobius syndrome and Asperger disease? did you ever hear about those words? Mobius syndrome is a syndrome when you can't move your face muscles. You must through muscle transment so you can smile as a normal person. I really sad heard that. If we flashback, we were lucky can smile, laugh, express our feeling normally.
Asperger disease is a disease that someone can't read someone else expressions. based on the movie, he must learned first to know what they're feeling.

we can make this facial expressions. but how with the sufferer of Mobius syndrome? How can the sufferer of Asperger disaster read this expression without any book wrote 'how to read other expression?'

we were smiled when we were happy. when we were in a good mood. I really can't imagine how hard to supressing your feeling. Not because you want, but you can't. I really really wanna cry whether I heard about that more.

white with terror! imagine you were the sufferer, you can't make any facial expressions of fear. What you were doing to asked any help? Yelling? Is it possible?

laugh? How easy? How usually we laugh a day? I laughed all day long, smile tto everyone I knew. I laughed just now. and I knew just know too that out there at the other side of this earth, there's someone can't laugh. Can't read any expressions behind the laughed? the real laughed or the fake laughed.

I just went home after did the English course. we laughed each other, there's always something funny can we laughed. We always laugh each other. As the youngest person at the class, those seniors laughed at me mostly. It's such a beautiful moment. there's much stars at the sky. I loved stars than the moon. maybe, this is the influence of novel 'separuh bintang' (a half of stars), one of my favourite novel.

ps: I was stole all photos at this post on uncle google. I don't take any photos yet. I'll take as soon as possible as long I'm not busy because of school assignment and their stuff.

love, natasha
xoxo